Love is many things. One of those things is TOUGH. And I don’t mean tough as nails - I mean tough as in hard work. Anything that you wish to thrive requires work – a meaningful career, a creative hobby, a beautiful garden, etc. Love is no different. It requires equal parts attention, effort, care and tenderness. And some days you feel too mad or confused or down to give much.

For those days, I find it particularly helpful to look at a picture of my boyfriend when he was a little kid. It helps me to remember his humanness and vulnerability. And to remember that he’s a person in his own right, independent of me or the relationship. He’s struggling with his own evolution & worries, just like I am.

And sometimes that is just the heart-tug I need to remember why I bother with love at all.